WTF

WTF was I thinking? Got into a huge huge fight with my boyfriend my best friend. Said some pretty mean and hateful things to him. Things that I shouldn’t even be here right now. Why did I do the things I did, I don’t know. So I left for the weekend which I can say we both needed that time away. I’m still questioning why I said what I did when I did and why I did the things I did. I mean it truly was like Dr Jekell and Mr Hyde. Yea that’s the only way to explain it…. 😥

Overwhelmed

Work. Home. Relationship.

I don’t know where to even start really.
I found myself a job cause the boyfriend was being an ass one day awesome I found a job right? The boyfriend who’s name is Adam, he didn’t seem happy for me I was so excited I wanted to share it with someone…. So the first person I call is……. Adam of course he didn’t seem happy He tried though.

Fast forward 3 1/2 months. There is only two house keepers my days off I could get called in leaving me with only a day off. I have no time to clean do school work or really spend time with Adam or my son. Adam don’t really help around the house. If I work on weekends there is a chance at 2 pm he will still be in bed. Now mind you if this was me which it has been but only till noon he would flip the fuck out. I make him lunch whenever I can. He don’t have lunch ready and on the table when I get off work. He says he appreciates me and the things I do, but he don’t show it.   He does show me that he loves me don’t get that twisted. 

Adam is different when he smokes and drinks compared to if he is just drinking, last night he was really a dick towards me cause I was right about something. He then for the most part ignores me for the night. Again it seems to night that I’m ignored, only when he smokes does he take interest in me. Honestly I don’t feel like we’re a family, at least not these last few day. I mean where’s the love? It’s  not here that’s for sure. He’s always worried about other people and himself before he his own family. 

At the point to where I want to throw in the fucking towel and say fuck everything. I’m fed up. No help around the house not really any help with Gaven it is all left up too me while he sits on his ass…..